Prince Harry is still haunted by the trauma of losing his mother, Princess Diana, as he recalls the sound of horses’ hooves on the day of her funeral and chases by paparazzi when he was a child in the back of a car.

Speaking of how he failed to deal with her mother’s loss for over a decade, Harry says in a new TV documentary series that the fear of also losing his wife was one of the main reasons the couple abandoned their royal duties and moved to California last year.

“My mother was chased to her death when she was in a relationship with someone who wasn’t white, and now look what’s happened. You’re talking about history repeating itself? They’re not going to stop until she dies,” Harry says in the mental health documentary series “The Me You Can’t See.”

“It’s incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life,” he added, referring to his wife Meghan. The “Me You Can’t See” series, which Harry produced with U.S. talk show host Oprah Winfrey, is released on Apple TV+ on Friday.

Harry was 12 years old when his mother Diana died in 1997 at age 36 in a crash in the French capital Paris. Diana’s car in which she was traveling with her Egyptian-born boyfriend Dodi Fayed was chased by paparazzi.

Harry, whose American wife is bi-racial, spoke of racist reporting in the mainstream British press about Meghan, as well as abuse on social media platforms. Meghan has said her experience in Britain drove her to thoughts of suicide when she was pregnant with their first son Archie.

In the documentary, Harry spoke of walking behind Diana’s coffin through the streets of London with his father Prince Charles, brother William and uncle Charles Spencer.

“The thing I remember most was the sound of the horses’ hooves going along the Mall,” Harry said. “It was like I was outside of my body, just walking along, doing what was expected of me, showing one tenth of the emotion that everyone was showing.”

Years earlier, he also recalled sitting in the back of Diana’s car while she, in tears, was pursued by paparazzi.

“One of the feelings that comes up for me always is the helplessness. Being a guy and being too young to help a woman, in this case your mother, and that happened every single day,” he said.